Who’s in the money and who’s going bust in Poland and Ukraine...

'BOOM TIME'

ROY HODGSON - “We want ‘Arry” most In-Ger-Land fans screamed when Roy pipped the Spurs geezer to the top job. But Hodgson proved those doubters wrong by getting the team to play with a discipline rarely seen by In-Ger-Land sides of the past. It may have been dull but it worked. And only after 40 days in the job...

OLD MEN - Football’s getting quicker and quicker and is no place for creaking bones and has-beens. Well, not unless your name’s Andriy Shevchenko. The Ukraine’s Chelsea flop bagged a brilliant brace against Sweden to cheer up OAPs around the globe. And we were shocked to see fellow 35-year-old Anders Svensson also make an appearance...

ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC - The Swedish striker’s the best player on the planet. Words simply cannot convey just how good the Milan maestro is. He’s Pele, Messi and Maradona rolled into one. That is according to him. So his scoring the Swedes’ solitary goal against Ukraine will have done even more to boost his ego. Zlats, we salute you...

'ABOUT TO DEFAULT'

CHELSEA - They may be European champions, but instead of adulation the Blues now have a bad name. Rather than become a byword for success, Chelsea, thanks to their ‘park the bus’ tactics, are now synonymous with anti-football on a criminal scale. So when Patrice Evra accused In-Ger-Land of playing “like Chelsea” he wasn’t being kind - ouch...

MICHEL PLATINI - On the pitch the tournament has been great so far with only a few dull games. But off it the UEFA big boss man has come in for yet more stick, and rightly so. The latest to have a pop at the floundering Frenchman was Mario Balotelli’s agent who, like us, think his response to racism worries is pathetic.

BORUSSIA DORTMUND - They’ve just won back-to-back Bundesliga titles and they’ve made their rivals Bayern look like petulant babies, so all’s good with them? Well, no. The German side are worried Polish duo Robert Lewandowski and Jakub Blaszczykowski are playing so well they might up sticks and leave for a bigger club. Bayern, perhaps?

QUOTE OF THE DAY - “It was a reaction that I should not have done” - Samir Nasri apologises for having a go at the French press after his goal against England on Monday...

EUROS SWAPSIES - Your country’s hosting the tournament, your team go in as no-hopers but win their first match in front of a delirious home crowd. You’d think the boss would be one happy chap. However, Blokhin berated his Ukrainian heroes, claiming they made lots of mistakes and have no chance of progressing unless they improve. The morose manager’s clearly misread the mood in Kiev...