Who’s in the money and who’s going bust in Poland and Ukraine...

'BOOM TIME'

AVERAGE IN-GER-LAND PLAYERS - Ok, we admit it, we don’t really rate Andy Carroll and Theo Walcott. Over the past few years both have had the odd good game but that’s about it. However, the poor pair turned into a deadly duo against Sweden. Both were simply class in Kiev (there’s something we never thought we’d write...)

ERIK HAMREN - There’s nothing we hate more than a bit of buck passing. So we were overjoyed to see the Sweden boss refuse to blame the ref, the length of grass or his team’s sickly yellow shirts for their early elimination. Hamren said if you want to point the finger at anyone then he’s the one to blame. A man’s man. Well done, Erik.

STRIKERS - At the start of the tournament they were seemingly a dying breed. Spain couldn’t be bothered with them and other teams had talent vacuums like Nicklas Bendtner pretending to be one. However, Euro 2012 has so far been a boon for the show stealers and egotists. Even the big-headed Dane’s managed to score two...

'ABOUT TO DEFAULT'

SOFT PLAYERS - Yes, it was raining heavily, yes, it was quite wet, and yes, if you’re under the age of 10, it was quite scary. But did the Donetsk deluge really need to bring a halt to the Ukraine v France clash? We’re pretty sure those meat-headed, egg-chasing rugby players wouldn’t have even noticed the woeful weather had they been playing in the storm...

PATRIOTISM - Some of our number subscribe to the 18th century English author Samuel Johnson’s view that ‘patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel’. So we’re happy to hear Ireland’s deputy coach Marco Tardelli’s statement that despite him being Italian, and the fact the Irish are already out, he’ll do everything to ensure they beat Italy tomorrow.

UKRAINE PLAYERS - No sooner had they been outplayed and beaten by France than hard-to-please Ukraine boss Oleg Blokhin started ranting at his team. He said: “I think some players thought [we were through to the second round] and we’ll have a serious conversation with them.” Big Oleg isn’t a man we’d want to mess with...

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“It would be very difficult for me quite frankly to leave him out of the team.” - England boss Roy Hodgson admits Wayne Rooney will start against Ukraine on Wednesday...

EURO SWAPSIES

We're pretty sure Zlats still sees himself as the world’s greatest player EVER, even though his performance against In-Ger-Land suggested otherwise.

The Sweden captain played like a complete prima donna in Kiev, prancing about as if he, and he alone, was the man to save the day for his team. His delusion also extended to the post-match utterances as he claimed that bad luck was the only reason the English won...