'Fiscal fortunes' at Euro 2012

Who’s in the money and who’s going bust in Poland and Ukraine...

'BOOM TIME'

CRISTIANO RONALDO - The preening Portuguese has come in for a fair amount of stick in these pages. But ever looking to be kind and fair we’ll forget the fact he has his own private suite at the team hotel, his re-styling his hair at half time etc, etc, and simply praise his brilliance against the Netherlands. Once he decided to stop refereeing the game he was utter class.

FABIO CAPELLO - ‘Who’s he?’ we can hear you cry. Well Signore Capello was the In-Ger-Land boss before the great Roy Hodgson. He didn’t do much bar get in a big strop before resigning. However, his nondescript reign hasn’t been forgotten by everyone. Wayne Rooney has thanked his old boss for getting his three-match ban reduced to two. Grazie Fabio...

ROY KEANE - How we’ve missed Roy’s rants. The man-not-to-be-messed-with has been seemingly bleating, and complaining, about Ireland fans having a good time in Poland despite their team’s early exit. He’s been told to shut up by boss Giovanni Trapattoni, but we hope he ignores the Italian: the world’s far more interesting with Mad Roy speaking his mind.

'ABOUT TO DEFAULT'

THE MIRAGE OF EUROPEAN HARMONY - Hurrah! Greece is soon to have a pro-Euro, pro-bailout government! Excellent news! Those pesky markets seem happier and all’s well with the joke continent again...However, we’re worried this feel-good factor may well disappear when Greece face Germany in Friday’s quarter-final. Time for the Greeks to put in a few dirty tackles..?

UEFA - Yep, the blundering bigwigs are ‘about to default’ yet again. We’ve never come across such a bunch of idiotic and, ultimately offensive, suits. In their infinite wisdom Platini and Co have decided to fine Nicklas Bendtner $125,000 for revealing an advert on his pants. The same lot fined Porto $25,000 for fans’ racist abuse of Mario Balotelli...shocking...

NEPOTISM - That age-old scourge of giving jobs to people in your family regardless of talent was dealt what we hope was a fatal blow late on Sunday night. Yes, amid the wreckage of their shock Euro exit the Dutch had something to cheer, something to be proud of. Yes, boss Bart van Marwijk refused to pick his son-in-law Mark van Bommel. Bart, we salute you...

QUOTE OF THE DAY...

“We will look them straight in the eyes, we will not fear them” - Fighting talk from Greece’s Giannis Maniatis ahead of Friday’s quarter-final against Germany...

EURO SWAPSIES...

WHERE to start? The Dutch arrived in Eastern Europe with a side packed so full of top talent that customs must have charged them for excess baggage. However, the Dutch did what they use to excel at: act like a load of petulant brats and go missing come the big game. Against Portugal the Oranje weren’t just bad, they were an utter disgrace, they offered absolutely nothing. Arjen Robben personified the maddening malaise more than any other player...