Who’s in the money and who’s going bust in Poland and Ukraine...

'BOOM TIME'

ANDRIY YARMOLENKO - If the Ukraine had another player with his talent, flair and guile then there’s little doubt In-Ger-Land would be heading home and the hosts would be in the last eight. The 22-year-old was as effervescent as their opposition were flat and as full of ideas as Hodgson’s men were clueless. A future star...

JOACHIM LOEW - Every Germany match we have waited with baited breath to see what the coach would be wearing. And with every match he’s disappointed with a dull chinos and white shirt combo. However, he returned to 2010 World Cup form as he watched Spain v Croatia in a trendy blue jumper with grey pashmina - top work J-Loew.

ITALY STAFF - The backroom boys decided to celebrate their team’s quarter-final place not by drinking copious amounts of prosecco, but by making a 21km pilgrimage to a monastery - by foot in the middle of the night. The Camaldolese monks were promised the visit by Cesare Prandelli and Co should Italy progress - magnifico!

'ABOUT TO DEFAULT'

WAYNE ROONEY - With every flattering victory In-Ger-Land somehow bizarrely look more and more like world beaters. That is if you listen to Rooney. According to the star striker, no one wants to play In-Ger-Land. Errrrm, not sure what he’s basing that claim on because based on the 1-0 win over Ukraine we reckon everyone would want to face the Three Lions...

THE FIFTH MAN - Such a title sounds rather sinister, however, what is more worrying is how the extra official employed for goalline decisions couldn’t see Marco Devic’s shot clearly cross the line in Ukraine’s loss on Tuesday. Someone must have forgotten to tell him his job description as it seemed he thought he was simply a very important ball boy.

CRISTIANO RONALDO - He may have finally found his La Liga form by scoring two against the disappointing Dutch, but that hasn’t stopped Ronaldo (a player who considers himself the best on the planet) from being described as the 12th best player in the world. Even for us, that’s a little harsh. The culprit? Barcelona president, Sandro Rosell...

QUOTE OF THE DAY...

“We have not played at the level that Spain can reach” - Fernando Torres states the obvious for anyone who’s watched La Roja play so far...

EURO SWAPSIES

We have to choose our words carefully here as we don’t want to offend the Ukraine boss and all-round tough guy. Having guided his team to defeat over a poor In-Ger-Land outfit, bonkers Blokhin didn’t take fair, in our minds at least, criticism from a local hack. Rather than try to explain how his side lost, the ‘goal that wasn’t’ aside, Blokhin challenged the journo to a fight...grow up, Oleg.